What Not to Say to Someone With Migraines
Just Toughen up and Ignore It. It Is Just a Headache
Sorry, but a migraine is not just a headache. Believe me, I know the difference since I have experienced both a typical headache and migraines. It is like comparing a brief summer rain shower to a hurricane.
If you have not had a headache debilitate you, make you seek complete darkness because light seems toxic to your level of pain and become physically sick and unable to hold down food because of it, you do not understand migraine pain. Simply say, "I don’t know what you’re going through, but I am so sorry."
Have You Tried Taking Anything for It?
Why yes, I have actually had the wisdom to take over the counter pain medication as well as prescription migraine medication. Sometimes these medications take the edge off, sometimes they do absolutely nothing to help.
My doctor has prescribed Imitrex, which will only treat a headache once it has already begun. It will not prevent my headaches or reduce their frequency. I also take Excedrin Migraine, but I find that usually, once the headache has begun, there is no stopping it.
You Should Exercise More
I probably should. However, it is hard to keep up with a routine between having lupus, which makes my joints and body hurt, and getting migraines, which makes it physically impossible to function safely on a treadmill.
I have a gym membership and use it as often as I feel up to it, and strangely it has not cured me from getting migraines.
Managing the Brain-Pain and Resentment
I realize that being subjected to this level of pain can affect my relationships and make me feel resentful. It can be hard on a beautiful sunny day to be the only one hiding in the dark and writhing from the pain that few actually understand. After a while my mood is simply one of resentment and feeling alone on an isolated island of misery.
It is important to take care of yourself during a really bad migraine attack. If you are able to rest, do so. Release the guilt about all that you should be doing. Realize that you are not alone, that many people feel as you do and understand your pain.
Part of my resentment is also with myself for needing to take time to recover. I have come to realize that I am less angry when I allow myself what is required to feel better.
Another important thing to do is try and educate others around you to what a migraine is and what it does to you. Encourage them to seek information about migraines from reputable sources.
Ask for help with tasks you simply cannot do while in the midst of an attack. Let go of your to-do list and keep only the must-do items.
When you feel emotionally a wreck from all the pain, try taking deep cleansing breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, and release the tension in your body before you react to the negative emotional build up inside of you.
Find something peaceful that you enjoy, to let go of the negative feelings and emotions that are left behind after a long migraine attack.
Finally, apologize if you feel you were abrupt or easily angered with someone while in the midst of your pain. Then, let go of any guilt and realize you are doing the best you can.
