Counselor Eric's Tips for Spouses of Migraine Sufferers
Your work day has been long, busy and stressful. Your boss overloaded you with work and your coworkers slacked throughout their shift. When 5 p.m. rolls around you excitedly head for the door. The sun is still shining and you can’t wait to get home. Maybe you can get some exercise in, or take the kids to get a treat after dinner. Maybe you can talk someone into giving you a back rub after your long day.
Then your phone rings. It’s your wife, and you can tell she isn’t doing well. Her voice is soft and deliberate. She asks you to hurry home, please. It’s another migraine, and it sounds like this is the worst she has had in a while.
At this point, you have a choice to make. You can go home begrudgingly, feeling upset, bothered and selfish. You can go through the motions of checking on her only to have her notice the perturbed tone in your voice and the way you are half-heartedly going through the motions.
On the surface, this seems like a terrible decision. Surely, you would never do this – but think again. Think about the last few times she had a migraine. Think about the level of support you really provided.
Option two is to put your selfishness on the backburner and turn on the selfless version of you. In this option, you lovingly do everything in your power to help her because you recognize all that she does for you when she is feeling good. You accept that she is not choosing to have migraines negatively impact her life, knowing that no one would choose this for themselves.
The right decision to make may seem like a no brainer, but it is still a decision you need to make. An unenthusiastic attempt to help her will only make things worse. Chances are good she will experience increased shame and guilt about her symptoms. Along the way, she will begin to lose trust and respect for you.
If you are not up to the challenge of caring for your wife or cannot manage the responsibility, alert someone who is capable. Her needs cannot wait. If you are up to the test, read on to learn the best interventions that yield great results.
Take Care of Her
Hopefully, this goes without saying, but taking care of your wife during a migraine is priority number one. With luck, you can attend to her needs while her symptoms are still low, preventing new and worsening symptoms.
Want to care for the one that cares for you? Here’s how:
When a migraine begins, your wife may be immobilized for a few hours or most of the day. During this time, her basic needs still need to be met and you’re the one to meet them.
Food may not be on her mind since nausea often accompanies migraine symptoms, but discuss some helpful options before the next migraine begins. A bottle of water by her bed can go a long way to show you care and are tending to her needs. Like food, caffeine could be really helpful or really damaging. Refer to previous migraines to track her preferences.